Tag: smallville

season six! i have no interesting spin to put on this heading i’m watching season six of smallville that’s all that’s going on here:

-i would watch a whole show set in the phantom zone tbh

-lionel is kinda like almost a good guy now? surely he’s gonna die soon or suddenly undo all the character development he’s been having. i just hope it’s the option that hurts mum kent least

-jimmy olsen is here now. i have… no strong feelings about this development. chloe seemed to recognise him so he might have been on the show before but i genuinely don’t remember sooooo 

¯_(ツ)_/¯

-zod!lex (or should it be lex!zod?) just drove a pipe through lana’s hand that was INTENSE

-i love super powered fights i LOVe em

– he said it! “kneel before zod”

-clois hospital bed hand holding! nice™

-oh i guess last season was honduras and this season we’re spending time in argentina. or not. maybe that was a one-off

-omg they’re calling the riots and stuff “dark thursday”. how extra

-clark pushing nails in with his bare hands is my kink

-SUPER SNEEZE

-idk WHAT lois is jogging in but that is NOT a sports bra

-mum kent: clark is that the first time you’ve ever sneezed? clark: and the first time i’ve had a scratchy throat. that’s another one of those perfect quotes i don’t need to add anything to

-villain of the week doesn’t know how to pronounce entrepreneur

-…i think the villain just threatened to shoot lex’s dick off

-OLIVER! OLIVER! HOLY SHIT IT’S OLIVER! OLIVER QUEEN! when i used to watch this as a kid with my mum we used to call him “oliver top-off” cause he was shirtless pretty much every episode. i’m SO pleased to see him and it’s not just cause i’m a thirsty bisexual bitch

-chloe: you can do anything! clark: except sneeze on command! eventually these things are just gonna be lists of ridiculous quotes from the show with no comments from me

-first appearance of super breath! i love it when we get a new power, although i did think his super breath was icy, but apparently not

-my sunshine man just literally blew the rainclouds away

-oh yeah lex has cameras in lana’s bedroom. gosh they’re such a HEALTHY couple

-dead body impaled in the woods? how very hannibal of you smallville

-now. i am a messy bench who loves drama all the way. but the interpersonal bullshit i see coming this season? i. am. not. here. for. it. go back to the bee fighting i miss the bee fighting

-clark, in an incredibly dramatic whisper in extreme close up: seeds

-they’re talking about this ~eeeeevil plant~ and clark and lex are menacing at each other about it but it’s an orchid. i know what an orchid looks like and that is an orchid. it’s not even the orchid shaped like someone showing their dongle

-clark and lex just broke up for the 300000th time

-lana: lex seems to think i’m dragging clark’s ghost around with me. chloe: and he didn’t sign up for a threesome? me: he absolutely did

-i have typed chloe as chole every. single. time.

-why is clark’s dynamic with jimmy olsen so weird?

-there’s a band at lex’s party that was probably popular when this was aired but i have no idea who they are

-this has been a really gory episode. vines bursting out of people’s stomachs, people impaled on vines, vines shoving their way down people’s throats. is this gonna be a thing now?

-i think lex made his charity party thing a costume thing just so he could dress up as alexander the great. some things never change

-for a party supposedly full of rich people these costumes are shit

-lex just romantically untied lana’s halter dress because this show is set in a universe where halter tops can be considered remotely romantic

-lois is upsetting rich people i’m so happy

-i don’t hate lois and oliver together cause a) i know it ends, b) lana and lex are currently drawing all my ire, and c) they’re not a horrible dysfunctional mess yet

-ooooo we get some green arrow robin hood action yeeees

-also lois’s kink is superheroes. get it girl

-oliver found out Clark’s Secret so early, this is actually a really interesting development???

-like, i know that we’re supposed to see ollie as ~morally gray~ but i hate capitalism so much i’m 100% on board with his whole stealing from the rich thing which i’m guessing the show doesn’t actually want me to wholeheartedly support?

-there’s a HUGE tonal shift going on and the show is starting to look like the smallville i remember from when i was little and it’s making me super nostalgic

-i LOVE the “how to be a hero” debate ollie and clark are having. i love their dynamic. he’s actually a really great addition 

-he’s gonna hurt lois though and i’m already mad

season five continues please don’t let anything like the last episode happen again:

-huh things went downhill for lana really fast. one episode clark breaks up with her the next she’s on suspiciously bright green unnamed drugs. okay

-clark just. ran to honduras. i lov him

-oh. lionel is here

-official smallville pig count: 2. it’s WILD that it’s taken this long and now we’re on a pig every episode rate

-whoa i think a guy falling on a circular saw and taking like 30 seconds to die is the grisliest death smallville has ever had

-now watch as despite lana stealing his car and also breaking into his house lex is completely fine with her cause that’s normal and healthy

-side note: i think my problem with the whole “i am entitled to your secret i cannot stand all these lies” thing comes from being a gay. like, no one is obligated to come out of the closet and Clark’s Secret feels a lot like that to me

-side note part two: how has literally no one on this show wondering about Clark’s Secret thought “oh, maybe he’s queer”? fucking wild, although maybe i should be thankful cause i don’t see that being done respectfully

-little girl just fucking murdered some fish by smashing all the glass in the house including their tank with her miiiiind poooooowers

-oh sweet lord i forgot how lovely clark is with kids

-lana: you must really trust me. lex: 100% me: she stole your car LAST EPISODE

-KRYPTO IS BACK but for some reason is called shelby now i guess??? okay???

-lois is as bad with kids as clark is good. excellent, great, wonderful. such rich pairing material

-lex getting aol video messages this is a noughties period drama

-evil guy with glass powers killed the fish not the little girl so we’re allowed to like her i guess

– do uh, diamonds count as glass now?

-clark adopting super powered kids is everything i want from this show

-this lex and lana storyline is making me actively look forward to when she is written out he’s been perving on her since she was FIFTEEN

-lana: what are we doing? lex: i thought we were enjoying an evening of chess. that exchange doesn’t really really need any input from me it’s already perfect

-the villain of this episode basically just hates capitalism which is fair. but also they murder people. not fair

-also they have a tinfoil face for some reason

-whoa. does… does lionel shave his armpits?

-lex is STILL trying to find “common ground” with clark cause he still loves him

-my boy broke through a wall then caught a lift this is what i’m here for

-bad guy took of his mask and lionel gasps but i’m there like “i have literally no idea who that is”

-lex luthor is what tony stark could have been we should be very glad he’s iron man instead. i just really love tony stark okay

-i pretty much unironically love the theme song now

-oh clark has a new ~mystery~ sugar daddy now

-lois is doing crunches whilst doing politics and i’m not sure who to thank or what i did to deserve this but OH BOY OH MAN OH WOW

-”clark kent is afraid of heights” is the best running joke this show has set up

-lois continues to have absolutely horrible taste in men and that is not just because she hasn’t shown interest in clark (or alternatively me) yet

-jfc lois just poured nearly an entire thing of sugar into her coffee. you don’t need to drink the bean juice if you need that much sugar babe, come join me in the leaf water corner

-alright by the 15th pun surely someone would have worked out that this guy is a hitman? i mean “it can get a little cutthroat”???

-he just invited lois to a coldplay concert. PERIOD DRAMA

-mmmmmm a classic hard thing shattering against clark shot whilst somehow leaving his clothes undamaged literally my favourite

-lois in the shower! CLARK SEEING LOIS NAKED! yeeeeeeeeees the episode is SO GOOD

-lois takes hour and a half long showers. i love her so much

-lois: why can’t i meet a decent guy from a decent family? me, openly weeping: YOU ALREADY HAVE

-mum kent finishing up the episode being completely right about absolutely everything yet again

-daddy kent shows up at his own grave (extremely extra) to tell clark to kill daddy luthor and he says it because lionel is gonna do something terrible but we all know its because dad kent is missing dad luthor and wants to have homoerotic arguments with him in the afterlife

-mum kent: jonathan, you know you’re the only man i’ve ever loved. me: well that’s not a very straight thing to say

-i haven’t had much to say about this episode cause i’ve been eating my tea whilst watching but i’m not convinced for a second that clark is actually gonna kill someone

-tractor throwing! yaaaay! now we know for sure it isn’t the real dad kent. he spent so long fixing the damn thing he would never just throw it at clark and break it again

-doctor: well lex you’ve never been healthier. me: seriously what happened to the blood purification thing. i genuinely don’t remember that ever being resolved

-lex: clark’s specialty is barging in where he isn’t invited. me: EXCUSE ME? E X C U S E  M E??? that is the most hypocritical thing i’ve ever heard anyone on this show say holy shit

-lois just referenced the night stalker. i see you babe. my girl is into true crime

-i’m actually so excited for

Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kenilworth

to show up as general zod but that might actually be ages yet idk

-DO NOT RING PEOPLE WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING

-”i’ll be there tonight” why do fictional people always say this? “tonight” is such a wide bracket of time

-i’m not even gonna talk about lana’s arc this season

-clark just got sent to the phantom zone so that’s fun. no, not fun. what’s the opposite of fun?

-ooooooo, nice use of stock footage of riots

-i have no idea why people are actually rioting but it’s certainly injecting some drama into the last minutes of the season

-lana’s doing her big romantic speech to lex but the whole city is rioting and it doesn’t really seem like the time

-clark is gonna have to save an awful lot of people really fast at the start of the next season when this cliffhanger is resolved

aaaaaaand MORE smallville season 5: 

-nice grey sky over the barn. i can see the director shouting “it’s a METAPHOR. it represents GRIEF. we are SAD TODAY" 

-clark is fixing a tractor in memory of daddy kent 

-and breaking tools. a well established favourite of mine 

-i guess clark is gonna be a masterclass in repression for the rest of this season 

-oh HAI blue truck ily 

-oh heeeeey mysterious vigilante lady 

-daddy kent is still in the credits rip 

-repressed angry grieving clark has shades of rkc. i love rkc. i miss rkc 

-chloe and clark staging a mugging is exactly the level of silly it needs to be. a classic smallville moment 

-daddy luthor: *holding gun* this isn’t a weapon, it’s a piece of history. me & lex: u can be… two things

-daddy luthor not realising asking lex not to be melodramatic is like asking me not to cry every time i visit a planetarium 

-chloe and mum kent have a lovely bonding moment over how weird shit is 

-lovely lady vigilante is deaded by the end of the episode i bet 

-lex just used the expression "a freshly laid corpse” and like wut? freshly laid like an egg? what the hell lex who wrote this dialogue? 

-WHO WROTE THIS SCENE?!? lex is threatening daddy luthor with telling martha he met with daddy kent just before he kicked the bucket. he’s described it as a “transgression”… but… they just had an angry homoerotic chat in the barn? 

-snake? snake? SNAAAAAAAAAKE 

-it should be sad but actually it’s hilarious that lionel likes clark more than he likes lex 

-MUM KENT IN SENATE it makes no sense (or if it does american politics are so incredibly broken, even more so than is immediately obvious ahem) but YAAAAS 

-hmmm not dead but disappeared 

-oh good an episode dealing with mental illness this is going to be handled TERRIBLY 

-lois: can you not do anything ridiculous for five minutes? clark: *punches a hole in a wall* 

-FUCK YOU lex and fuck lana for helping you 

-i love it when clark meets other super humans especially when they’re as lovely as victor 

-daddy luthor’s massive crush on mum kent is one of my favourite parts of the show 

-lana: whenever you’re ready, i’ll be waiting, for as long as it takes. me: so you break up this episode then? 

-i feel like this has happened before. clark has been hypnotised before right? 

-jesus christ it’s been so long do you know how far down in my drafts i had to go down to find this ugh

-lana: so according to these incredibly conspicuous maps you’re either going on holiday or this professor bloke is in central america. lex: both! i’m incredibly rich

-lex: i promise when i get back i’ll tell you everything. lana: well honesty is my kink. me: lex has never once been honest in his entire life PLEASE

-clark summarising his powers: i can run really fast. bless my puppy man

-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh this is sexual assault? plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl has removed clark’s ability to consent and it’s making me SUPER uncomfortable

-HE BENT A STRONG THING I’M NOT ON BOARD WITH THIS EPISODE BUT A STRONG LAD BENT A STRONG THING AND I love THAT

-clark is shirtless but it’s BAD i HAte this episode

-huh plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl has a really poorly fitting bra

-like. this is different to rkc because that was still clark just without inhibitions but this is him literally being hypnotised into sexual activities he would not have otherwise consented to am i literally about to watch superman get raped????

-”make love to me clark” THIS IS RAPE

-yeah yeah great lana caught them and got her close up crying scene but now we’ve cut to lex’s place but what happened to clark???

-jesus fucking christ this episode is rough

-okay so plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl is protecting clark’s secret from lex which is nice but she’s sexually assaulted him and possibly raped him at this point so like, this is not a redemptive act and if this episode tries to give her a redemption arc i’m gonna riot 

-chloe please rescue me and clark from this hellish episode

-with all this awful bullshit going on i’ve neglected to mention that lex is randomly in honduras this episode and honestly it feels so detached from the rest of the plot. i’m gonna pretend the rest of the episode isn’t happening

-official smallville pig count: 1. i just thought it was noteworthy that in a show where the main character lives on a farm we have to wait until the fifth season and have to travel to honduras in-universe in order to see a very common farm animal

-as always, lex is aware something shifty is afoot but is completely, tragically wrong about the specifics. some things never change, luckily for milton fine (what a name btw)

-lex looked visibly uncomfortable when someone else started referencing mythology and ancient cultures. “that is my job. only me and my family do that. wait are we related?”

-clark literally tapped lois on the head like *boop* and she fell over knocked out and it shouldn’t have been funny but here we are i have to take what i can get from this episode

-oh thank fuck they confirmed she never raped him that’s something at least

-mum kent: do you think you didn’t tell lana your secret cause deep down you don’t think she’s the one? me: holy shit how is mum kent literally always right

-oh fuck now i’m gonna have to endure lana and lex the Worst Pairing

i was actually kinda surprised that i was already onto season 5 cause it’s been a while but yep

-having a character get weirdly excited about chow mein isn’t actually characterisation amanda

-i never tire of how stressed clark gets when he gets like a paper cut or something “nooooo i am invulnerable this shouldn’t be happening somebody saaaave meeeeeee” our boy is such a drama queen

-rip another truck

-i have a confession my most recent post about this wasn’t actually me starting this again it was me finding it in my drafts and going “oh I should start again” posting it and then just… not. until now!

-daddy kent keeps saying how very fine he is and it’s just like errrrrr not for long

-silver kryptonite is the worst kryptonite

-i wish my lectures were as weirdly relevant to my life as clark’s are

-if someone on a tv show says “whatever happens we’re in this together” or “we’ll always be friends, right” they are either lying about something or they’re gonna die real soon

-oh chloe your hair is better but your clothes might be worse. at least the cargo trousers had STYLE. it was a bad style but still

-chloe just described daddy luthor as a “moral pygmy” which is fun

-i bet tom welling loved these “clark on kryptonite” episodes cause he got to do some real ACTING

-i know i’ve mentioned it before but it bothers me that they keep talking about how poor the kents are but clark is on a new truck every week destruction rate???

-i hate every interaction lana and lex have

-there’s so much homoeroticism in every encounter between daddies luthor and kent

-lana: it’s so smoooooth. it almost feels like liquid. me: you know that makes no sense right?

-holy shit mum and daddy kent are ONLY JUST NOW finding out that chloe knows about clark? incredible

-lana is having a very weird and stressful day but not quite as weird and stressful as clark’s!!!

-does lex just sit in his office waiting for people to come angrily visit him?

-even when lex is telling the truth he sounds like he’s lying he should probably work on that tbh

-clark spends so much of this episode peeping through windows he’s like the Spanish Inquisition. he’s a literal peeping tom!

-lex MAY have been joking when he said that if anyone working for him hurt clark they’d be transferred to siberia but i can totally see luthorcorp having a lab in siberia staffed entirely by people who upset lex one time. “what are you here for?” “well i’m a tropical fish expert but one time i said clark kent’s haircut was goofy so now i work in siberia I guess” “i said alexander the great was gay and lex thought i was insulting him but actually i’m a classicist and it’s true” “what about you?” “i asked him why all his friends are teenagers and reminded him about consent laws and now i’m the experiment”

-why if they think clark is a human who was infected by the silver kryptonite do they, other humans, handle it with their bare hands???

-i can’t believe this episode has cheated me out of seeing clark kent punch a hole in a wall booooo

-i miss lois

-was the thing where lex needed his blood purified every other day or so ever resolved or… not? i genuinely can’t remember

-awwww clark and lana are both lying to each other. adorable

-chloe: i’d die before i’d ever betray you. me: FOREshadowing

-daddy luthor HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD when he says lex is running for office only to change the way people perceive him but he doesn’t realise it’s about some. very. specific. people

-”i thought i was the last son of krypton but you people keep popping up” 

-LOIS and mum kent carshare ❤ ❤ ❤

-lois casually savaging lex is my new hobby

-clark bb, yelling “I’M READY NOW” is usually an indicator that you are not, in fact, ready yet

-just throwing antibiotics at every mysterious alien-influenced malady is how we got mrsa jonathan

-”even the great hero of the people. zod” ummmmmmmmmmmm

-lois and chloe investigation team-up! dream team number 2!

-from lex’s perspective he just… lost a spaceship. misplaced it. woops it’s gone missing

-dream!mum luthor: all of this can be yours if you make the right choices. me: safe to say lex isn’t gonna make any right choices

-lex’s confused “am i happy???” faces during his coma dream are the funniest thing “i…this is nice… i don’t understand… is this what you humans call ‘happy’? i’m not sure i like it”

-clark is santa now? good.

-i really relate to Drunk Depressed Rooftop Santa

-lexmas was just a really weird fucking episode all round

-lois lane. calling out fascists since… whenever this episode aired

-sorry lana, you only get to be uppity about clark not being honest with you when you’re not also lying to him mmmmmkay?

-ugh almost everyone’s characterisation this season is ugh

-clark: but mum kent i will never love anyone but lana i cannot even conceive of it! *lois drives up* me: nice

-how many fucking times this season had lex been shot for godssake

-oh HI james blunt on the soundtrack heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

-i hate lana/clark but not as much as i hate lana/lex

-clark proposes in the most extra way i can’t even describe it he just… crushes a random rock into a mysteriously already perfectly carved diamond and then. welds. it. onto. a ring for lana. in the fos. on an outcrop of crystal about a mile off the ground. a literal captive audience. wtf

-the newest truck is blue. i bet it doesn’t survive the episode

-daddy kent admits he’s obsolete cause clark doesn’t need his advice anymore and… erk

-lois: i would be lucky to end up with someone as honorable as clark someday. me: *maniacal laughter* just you waaaaaaaaaaaaait

-i’ve lost all grasp on these kids ages but i think they’re supposed to be around my ageish and at uni and let me tell you that is WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE GETTING MARRIED CLARK KENT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I HAVE SEEN HOW THESE THINGS END UP AT 20

-AND YET i got mushy when lana said yes. disgraceful i just love seeing my super puppy son happy

-lana throwing alcohol in lex’s face is the most satisfying thing oh my GOD girl FINISH HIM

-oh ffs a goddamn fakeout/time reset i’m livid

-this. is. e x c r u c i a t i n g

-okay but now i want an scene when he eventually tells her again later on in the show and just goes “i’m pretty nervous cause the last time i did this you literally died and i had to reset time so nbd please love me”

-so we go back to that james blunt song for the inevitable breakup and as lana walks out we hear “and it’s time to face the truth/i will never be with you” (that’s the point in the music video where james blunt jumps off a cliff so totes grimdark) and i fucking chortled as lana stomps out the barn. perhaps not the intended effect

-rip daddy kent. amazingly the blue truck survived

-i know it’s supposed to be all sad by clark looks so 10/10 in his funeral outfit

it’s been SO LONG but i’m finally continuing watching smallville. so, without further ado, season 5:

-underwater fight is EXCELLENT and underwater

-clark: i’m not sure i’m ready for the jla just yet, me: *screams forever*

-god we’re in 2005 now when will the clothes stop being terrible?

-the dramatic irony of lois and clark ‘not being into each other’ is killing me

-vampire sorority sister disappears under jacuzzi water. pizza guy looks excited, then screams. DID SHE JUST BITE HIS DICK HOLY SHIT?!?!?!!!

-carrie fisher carrie fisher CARRIE FISHER

-these are the most unrealistic university lectures i have ever seen but okay

-buffy saunders, vampires and the guy who played spike? okaaaaaaayyy…

-‘she said lana was still asleep’ ‘at 3pm?’ me: she’s uh, at university?

-clark is wandering around in a zorro outfit and it is 👍👍👍

-this vampire sorority sister storyline is disappointingly hetero

-and the music choices are terrible

-lex’s crush on lana is soooo creepy i want it to DIE

-the spinny daily planet globe thing must cost so much to maintain???

-random cop: pictures don’t lie. me, other characters in scene, everyone who has ever watched this show, the whole planet: no???

-clark just goes and shows lex this vital photograph that could kill lex’s rival for state senator’s career and doesn’t think this is a bad idea clark pls you were never this stupid

-what is the mystery/suspense/plot of this season?

-clark if you are not friends with lex anymore then STOP GOING TO HIS HOUSE

-THE DISCOMFORT OF CLARK IN A STRIP CLUB OH SMALLVILLE MY PRECIOUS FARM BOY

-i am so gay for lois halp

-lois and clark lock eyes across a strip club such au fodder i am so here for this ship

-lois: *beats the shit out of a creepy dude* me: great now i have to kinkshame my very own self

-clark is on like a one truck a week destruction rate at this point?

-chloe’s hair is finally not awful blessed be

-lex: i was just trying to protect you. lana: but you were gaslighting me??? me: holy shit this relationship is so awful aaaaaaaaahhhhhh

who will survive season 5?

-LET IT GO LET IT GO CLARK HAS AN ICE CASTLE OF HIS VERY OWN
-jor-el: welcome home my son. clark: *looks around spiky ice room* uuuuuuuuuuhh… thanks i guess?
-lois is in the credits right where she belongs
-lex pls stop taking things that do not belong to you
-so many meteor craters so few actual meteors
-lex: be straight with me for once clark. me: be honest with me for once lex that is the last thing you want him to do
-i wasn’t aware that it was possible to fuck up a standard ‘lighting cigarette with supernatural powers’ shot but somehow smallville managed it
-clark reacts to his final big breakup with lex by going and having sex with lana which is not healthy BEHAVIOUR CLARK KENT
-lana is caught sneaking out of the kent home after doing the do with clark and the faces made in that scene alone deserve an oscar, a tony, maybe even a grammy?
-pls fuck off out of everyone’s business lex pls
-AND THEN CLARK JUST dies
-but then he comes back and PUNCHES A MISSILE. i love it when he gets all superman on us. remember when he was fighting bees? now he’s punching missiles our boy is all grown up
-okay but clark and lana reunite after she sees him die and they have a BIG HUG and it’s supposed to be touching but he’s lifted her up and he’s just holding her like a foot off the ground and it made me giggle through the scene
-something happens to lana’s voice when she gets angry and it makes me weak at the knees even though i’m not that interested in her anymore (as a character, i’ll always be interested in HER ahem)
-we haven’t seen lois in like two episodes when they put her in the credits they made a promise which they are not delivering
-clark’s mortality lasted less than two whole episodes wow
-lionel: looks like i’m your miracle. me: well your hair certainly is
-WHAAAAT legit female gaze shot? a++
-man made of space goo is now a history lecturer who needlessly separates spartans from ancient greeks, warns us about lex and makes ANOTHER FUCKING REFERENCE TO ALEXANDER THE GREAT

season four. season fourtitude. season finished

-guy talking about satnav like it’s the fanciest fucking thing
-there’s all this american football and university stuff and it all seems really weird and intense and i can’t tell if it’s supposed to be suspiciously so or if america is really like that (sidenote: do american football fields only have one set of goalposts? why? rugby with padding is so weird)
-lois is literally always driving whilst on the phone which is HIGHLY IRRESPONSIBLE but i still love her
-the ‘can’t drink until you’re 21’ thing is endlessly amusing. i’m literally watching this show with a bottle of wine which i bought myself with my very own real id and my mother present (not necessary but just illustrates how very legal it is) at the ripe old age of 19
-oh nooooooo clark and dogs why must you be this way clark kent. clark to the dog: at least i don’t have to hide anything from you. me: actually sobbing
-also fucking superdog turns up really (‘krypto… because his background is so cryptic.’ amazing) and clark gets to keep him but he barely shows up again?
-lex: paranoia is not a very attractive quality in a woman. me: ew ugh ew ew ugh ew no ugh ugh ugh ew ew ugh ew no no fuck off ugh ew no
-the kents would really benefit from the nhs
-lazy casting of people who don’t look at all alike as siblings really bothers me
-lana’s need to know everything about everyone and resenting people not telling her every little thing is really starting to irritate me. like girl, some things are none of your business
-in fact lana’s whole arc this season is just… meh, i want more superhero stuff not more magic in france
-clark has finally graduated from just saving individual people and on some special occasions smallville to saving the entire world with absolutely no middle steps in-between
-clearly the budget has gone up from last year. switzerland! they’re in china for a bit! no expense spared!
-INTENSE SKING MONTAGE
-lois’ backstory killed me. cinnamon roll doesn’t deserve this
-clark breaking/crushing padlocks with his bare hands brightens my day every time and it happens like every episode 😍
-lucy lane is a terrible as lois lane is wonderful
-lex: you’re closer to me than any blood brother. me: oh my god just kiss him already
-chloe’s hints to clark: ‘bruh i totally know your secret’ ‘clark pls tell me i already know’ ‘claaaaaaark’. i am i not entertained?
-lois: oh are we friends now? clark: i won’t tell anyone if you don’t. me: pterodactyl screech
-a dell computer! i remember dell! bom bom bom BOM! for a while everything was dell…
-lex is so supremely creepy whether he’s perving over clark or lana. they are both way to young for you lex please stop you are an adult why are you hanging out with teenagers
-super duper mega evil lex still has a crush on clark. amazing
-good guy lionel luther didn’t last long. i’d actually kinda warmed to him. i love redemption arcs they are everything to me
-clark works out that his mum is possessed because she is having fun?
-this was apparently before matte lipsticks were a thing. everyone’s mouths are so shiny
-i’m rapidly losing patience with lana but i still got emotional when clark got to have his dance with her at prom
-lois: lana’s the one you want to dance with. me: wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
-wow you can really see the point where they decided that jensen ackles wasn’t gonna be in the next season. complete character 180
-amnesia clark still gets heat vision boners over lana. amazing
-chloe is so relentlessly excellent
-i love that this show has loads of women but where is the gay? smallville has no lgbt+ residents? and like 2 poc? whaaaaaaaat? also the whole superpower secret is a pretty clear analogy but we don’t get any actual mogai characters with superpowers? okay?
-little bruised baby amnesiac clark is a sad lost puppy 😕🙁☹️

-i will never tire of clark zipping off to rescue someone mid-conversation and the other person looking around in confusion and saying his name EVERY TIME
-lionel’s hair is gorgeous?
-clark is good with babies because OF COURSE HE IS. but daddy clark though: ❤️❤️❤️
-ngl clark strolling out of an explosion with ripped clothes and dirty face is why i watch this show
-i feel like i missed an episode the jason/lana stuff is so rushed. when did she chose clark over him? when they had their dancy dance? have jason and lana actually broken up??? this arc was so slow to build and now it’s so fast that they’re missing bits out
-dean winchester is ambiguously ‘dead’ but supernatural starts the year after this season so i don’t think he’s coming back
-creepy mannequin guy was the creepiest villain we have seen
-clark please go to the proper university. pls
-a poncho! i saw someone non-ironically wearing a poncho! truly it was a simpler time
-i love clark’s lil sideburns this season
-GREAT. ANOTHER natural disaster for clark to feel GUILTY about
-‘i’m having what you’d call a rough day’ wow that took me right back to my days in the supernatural fandom (for my sins)
-some truly terrible cgi to close the season
-AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND SQUASHED A BUILDING AND ANOTHER METEOR CAME AND
-clark: (teleported to the arctic) well this is INCONVENIENT

mid-season 4 roundup:

-boulevard of broken dreams cropped up on the soundtrack! we have entered the time at primary school where i began to be aware of what was on the radio. i was eight when this first aired. idk why but that one song just REALLY dated this show
-‘i know this must sound terribly british of me but i just can’t bring myself to drink tea from a mug.’ what? what? that doesn’t sound very british to me at all. british people love mugs. mugs tend to be bigger and so more tea which is 👍👍👍. british people will drink tea from ANYTHING so long as it is decent tea. this smells like a recurring character so i’m bracing for an onslaught of not actually british britishisms
-lex’s ‘my blood has to be purified every 72 hours or i die’ thing hasn’t been mentioned since the premier… that’s not something you just forget
-everyone faces their worst fear and it’s all standard rejection, losing the people you love etc etc but lex’s is LITERALLY BOMBING THE SHIT OUT OF THE ENTIRE USA AND MAYBE THE WORLD LIKE WHAT THE HELL
-clark is terrible at ice skating. this is WONDERFUL news
-they played an entire fucking dido song just randomly in the middle of an episode and it went on way way too long and it didn’t really fit the tone and it was just a bit weird but i think i actually quite like dido so i was just like ‘this is fine?’
-no-one looks the age they’re supposed to be on this show and i have come to accept this. throughly resigned
-clark and alicia doing the pre-sexy dance. alicia: i want this to last forever. red-kryptonite clark: not sure that’s one of my abilities but i’ll try. i love rkc. in fact that entire scene was gold. alicia: …i’m a virgin. rkc: that’s GREAT. so am i! alicia: but we don’t have any kind of commitment. rkc: believe me baby no-one is more committed to making this happen than me. and then he PROPOSES. amazing
-lois hasn’t been in it in AGES. now that i know she can turn up any time it’s more disappointing when she isn’t there
-i’m caring less and less about lana 😕
-lionel luther ‘a changed man’ is the most disturbing thing that’s been on this show aside from 20-something year old lex’s crush on 15 year old lana (and it’s not getting better as she gets older, still really upsetting)
-i really loved alicia it was weird. she was so messed up and kinda terrible but she tried so very very hard
-oh god sex psa episode amazing
-enough lana in the shower. enough. i am actively getting bored
-lex: i don’t usually involve myself in other people’s affairs. me: LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES
-lois is just so wonderful every time she shows up i get emotional

more and more, season 4 (i’m starting to sound like one of those people who announce the balls for bingo 😕)

-LOIS LOIS LOIS LOIS LOIS LOIS LOIS
-the first time clark and lois meet he’s stark bollock naked and she has to remind herself to look at his face i am delighted
-clark always so conveniently goes missing over the summer holidays
-dean winchester is in smallville now? okay? but he is only 12?
-lex just TAKING what is clearly some kind of highly archeologically valuable artefact is upsetting to me on a personal level. i have never felt such animosity towards him before. ENTITLEMENT
-FLYING 😍😍😍
-pilot:‘what is it? bird? plane?’ me: *pterodactyl screech*
-there’s a lot more nudity all of a sudden? like i’m okay with this but it’s totally unnecessary
-martha kent is the real mvp and everyone knows it
-lois is everything i wanted her to be and more. like lana just sorta pales in comparison. i understand now why everyone always said lana was so boring. she’s not it’s just in comparison to lois. i love lois so much
-everything lionel luther does is accompanied by classical music?
-people were pretending chloe was dead for a long time considering she is still in the opening credits
-when oh when will clark get a decent haircut?
-i really love lois. so much
-lex has reverted to season 1 attempts at buying clark’s affection. it is not working
-i had forgotten that flared jeans and cargo pants were a thing but this show persists in reminding me
-so much shit happens every summer but then everyone… just… goes… back… to… school…
-clark and lois are the dream team. clark distracts the bad guys with his body whilst lois sneaks around investigating shit. this is the best
-‘In loving memory of CHRISTOPHER REEVE’ OH NO OH NO OH NO. i mean i knew he was dead but still OH NO